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Here’s why self pity sucks


Hey you!

It’s your favorite blogger. Ajiri aka Aj😉

I’ve asked several persons what they think self pity means. The truth is not everybody knows the difference. Most times we misunderstand the difference between sadness and self pity.

 

While sadness is normal and lasts for a short period of time, self pity is an excessive self absorbed unhappiness one feels over their own troubles. This type of sadness is exaggerated. For example, a person may feel terribly bad for their misfortune and instead of doing something to move forward or change their situation they would just feel so sorry for themselves, instead of getting up and being optimistic, they remain hopeless and blame other people or circumstances for what could be happening to them.

 

The number one reason why self pity sucks is because we never take responsibility for our actions.

Someone or something is always the reason for a misfortune. It is never our fault, hence we do not deserve whatever has happened and yes, we will allow pity make us depressed and down. That is how it works. It keeps you in a place of helplessness.


Sometime this year I found myself falling prey to this cause and most times it’s soothing to feel like you have a reason to feel that way. It is wrong. So what did I do? I started to practice gratitude. That was one thing my sister kept telling me to do. Be thankful for the things you have and take your focus off from the things you don’t have. 

 

I know sometimes one of the ways we show gratitude is by saying people are in worse  situations but to be honest that’s not the best way.

One should not be grateful because their case is better or not as bad as others because it breeds a kind of comparison mindset. Instead compare yourself from where you used to be to where you are now and be grateful for the progress you’ve made thus far.

Self pity feeds on a pessimistic mind and that is why we should be optimistic, it helps, always see the positive side of things.

 

Another reason why we fall prey to self pity is because we don’t let things go. If you’ve ever suffered a heart break(could be friendship/relationship) you’d realize that the moment you let it go, you start becoming better. It is true that you did not deserve such treatment but what are you going to do about it, stay in bed all day and cry? No. Most of these things won’t even matter in some years time.

 

Setting a time limit also helps. As humans we can’t always control our emotions. Feel the need to cry or vent sometimes? Go for it but make sure it doesn’t get prolonged. 

One major aim of self pity is to keep you at a particular spot for a long time, instead of letting that happen why not look into your possible future, think of what you can do next time to avoid certain situations. 


Now that you know how dangerous it is why don’t you examine your life and see if there’s any where you may have been exaggerating your problems. It’s almost the end of the year, there’s still some weeks remaining to make amends. Some people may feel they haven’t achieved much, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why not be grateful for your progress, for having life and prepare better for the next year? 

Merry Christmas in advance🎁💝🎄 and as always;

 

 

Aj loves you💕

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