Here's what you should know about break ups.

Hello guys. Welcome to today's blog post. Today's topic is really a sensitive one and I'm certain you'll find a thing or two helpful. Please click on the subscribe button to notify you when I upload a new blog post, thank you so much.

I think I've been running away from topics related to dating/relationships and break ups because I felt I wasn't worthy of talking about it since I have little experience there. Today's topic is a common one we've all heard of and might have experienced.

In every relationship I believe there should be a common goal and reason for it. We all want a happy ending but what happens when things don't go as planned? 

A lot of persons blame themselves after a breakup they didn't initiate. I once asked a friend of mine what it felt like having your heart broken? She said it wasn't any different from poking your chest with a hard object till it hurts. Wow. Heartbreaks are indeed painful🤕

The pain associated with a breakup is often related to you trying to figure out what went wrong and most times there isn't a logical explanation. I personally think the worse kind of break ups are the ones where the victim is being told they aren't the cause. So what then is the cause they keep questioning them selves and their worth each and everyday.

How long does it take for a broken heart to be mended? You might ask. 

A study by the journal of positive psychology found that most participants saw progress in the healing, recovery and growth after 3 months(around 11 weeks).

As much as that looks convincing I don't think it applies to every individual. I always stand by the fact that what works for someone might not work for you. A break up can cause both physical and emotional pain. How?

Some physical pains include, muscle aches due to anxiety, lose of appetite which results to aches and cramps, lack of sleep, being in this state for a while leads to headaches, muscle soreness and belly aches. 

Emotional pains, some studies have shown that the part of the brain that gets activated in response to physical pain also gets activated in response to break up. 

A break up can also change your brain chemistry. You can experience a drop of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin that are associated with the feelings of pleasure and happiness. 

I will like to answer the question asked above. 

How long does it take for a broken heart to be mended?

There is no time max. Yes. 

You'll know when you have healed. When you've healed you'll get back on track because you've let it all go and you're done with all the hate, resentment, depression, rage, bitterness, blames and self pity. 

You're healed when you've realized why the breakup occured and you've come to embrace the good and the bad. 

You've healed when you no longer doubt yourself instead you've learnt and you now know yourself a whole lot better and have now made peace with your past. 

I've heard people say they still love their ex and regret why they got into a relationship with them in the first place. it's okay to still love them. A relationship is a beautiful thing but it becomes chaotic when you indulge in it with the wrong mindset. 

Your mental health should be very important to you. 

Take time to heal because the healing process is highly recommended. A disaster can happen if you miss this stage and it'll greatly affect your next relationship. You wouldn't want to do that to yourself and your partner. Would you?

After a you break up before you venture into another relationship make sure you;

•Take sometime off. 

It could be social media, where you hang out together all the time, just stay away for a while. Make sure you cut off communication with them or anything that would make forgetting harder. Focus on yourself. 

•Talk to supportive people. 

People who you know got your back and would do anything to see you happy. Reach out to those that are always there for you.

•Sleep, exercise and eat.

Treat yourself right. Do away with negative thoughts since this will only make you delve deeper into depression and self pity.

•Set strong boundaries. 

Make some mental decisions and stick to them. This will greatly keep you in check.

If you need to do anything extra like traveling, learning something new, enrolling in a class, just anything to take your mind off then do it. 

This is different from trying to avoid thinking about the breakup or healing because most times people who distract themselves without tackling the issue always end up experiencing much greater pain as that is a wrong defense mechanism. 

Face your fears and make sure the last thing you do is get into another relationship with the sole aim of healing from one. It will only get nastier and ugly. Trust me. 

Not all times should you compel yourself to fall in love with somebody. Most times we misunderstand the fact that we shouldn't date every nice person we come in contact with instead you can have an amazing friendship that shouldn't have to end with a terrible heart break. Had to write that out boldly. 

You deserve to be happy.

I hope you picked something out from today's blog post. No one deserves a broken heart but when it happens you shouldn't allow it ruin your life. Get back on your feet, dust yourself off, raise your head higher and keep going.

Don't forget, we all deserve to love and be loved in return.

Aj loves you💕