There is "You" in Unique.

     "Tell me something you'd love to change about yourself" Avery asked me.
     "Everything" I said. 
     "That's just so wrong. You can't think like that." She said with concern etched on her face. 
Avery was just a year older than me but she spoke smartly and I couldn't help but envy her most of the time, sometimes I wished I was her. I  wished I had her hair, her clothings even down to her family. 
     "See Didi, if you don't love anything about yourself that's downright wickedness to yourself and our creator. Do you mean to say he made a mistake when_"
     "Don't get me wrong Avery" I interrupted.
     "I... I do like somethings about myself but_" I scoffed. 
     "But what?"
     "They're kind of irrelevant" 
     "Tell me one thing atleast, Go on! Tell me the irrelevant things"
     "well, I think I have cool fingernails but like I said it's irrelevant, you can't compare nails to eyes or hair"  
     "Now that's where you get it all wrong, look_" Her Mom drove in just then cutting her off. 

Avery was my best friend, she was always smiling, always happy and positive. She always saw the good in everything and that was the opposite of me. 
I always found the worse in everything. My thoughts were always negative. I always considered the worse possible things that could go wrong in my life, 

I trained myself not to expect much. It felt like positive thinking would somehow find a way to stab me in the back so why not expect the worse and when it happens you tap yourself in the back and tell yourself how that wasn't surprising. Then of course, if it did turn out good atleast no harm was done. That was the stupidest thing I taught myself because all it did was rub me of so many wonderful things. I worried so much of what people thought about me. I knew nothing about self love not until I met Avery. 

Self love she told me was taking care of my needs and not sacrificing or jeopardizing my well being to please others. It was an appreciation of oneself that grew as we continued to like and love ourself.
I didn't know how to love myself because no one taught me how to. Some days I'd wake up and not just find the urge to look at myself in the mirror other days it was okay. I thought it was a mood thing until I began to doubt myself. I felt I wasn't lovable, that people didn't like me for me. I didn't like the place I was in life and I always compared myself with others down to the tiniest bit. 

People did tell me I was beautiful, I had great legs and a cute smile but when I looked into the mirror I could hardly see them so everything they said sounded like flattery, you know, like you could tell someone they looked good in an outfit and you pretty much know they don't. I didn't like the idea that I knew how to knit. I wished I knew how to draw or bake instead just like Avery.

Avery always told me not to blame myself for things I couldn't control. She taught me stop worrying about what other people had that I didn't have rather I should appreciate what I had that others didn't. 
I was always in a battle with myself and it made life very difficult for me not until I began to accept who I was. 

Self love is not about what we think or feel but how we respond. 
The thing is, we can't just change some certain things about ourselves. We all have traits that we aren't fond of but the ability to love ourselves despite them is what makes us unique. 
Do you still doubt if you're important, if you matter or if you're capable of being loved? Well no one will be able to love you for you. You've got to do it all by yourself. 
Loving yourself doesn't just happen in a day, it's a life process where you keep discovering new parts of yourself day by day.

You probably might have heard about these tips before but as you and I both know, it would just be a bunch of words on a screen if we don't follow them intentionally.

-Tell yourself what you love about yourself.

No matter how small. You can make a mental note or best jot it down. Remember, do this intentionally. Start speaking it to yourself daily. 'I am beautiful, I am strong, courageous, smart, bold, kind, successful ...

-Forgive yourself. Most things in our past still cover a huge part in our lives and this hinders us from letting go and trust me the moment you do, you'll experience greater happiness.

-Loosen up and distance yourself from people who talk you down. 

This is a major point. Your company is very important, remember this is different from healthy critism. Spend time with people who make you feel happy and better about yourself. Keep good company, positive minded people should be in your circle.

-Work on your flaws. Stop making excuses for your short comings. Take responsibility for your actions and make changes where necessary.

-Don't place your focus on what people think. It never got you anywhere in the first place.

-Be grateful for what you have and who you are. Always see the good In every situation. Be happy with the little you have.

-Do what makes you happy. Don't try to jeopardize your happiness because someone else wants you to be something else. Remember, you first.

-Be true/honest with yourself. 

Pay attention to yourself. 
Embrace your weirdness like they call it. Reflect on the good.

By doing this, you'll find out you'll begin to have high regards for your own well-being and happiness. Loving yourself is the best you can do for you. Remember no one can put you down unless you give them the power to. There's only one you and you are unique in your own way.


Aj loves you💕